January 20,2009

Hi my dear friends,
It has been along time since I have written on the blog. My kids have been helping out in between and I love the pictures Michael added from the scattering of the ashes. I came home from Bonaire with a chest infection that is clearing up now. In a day or so I will be going to Arizona for Karen and Mark's Arizona wedding reception. I think the reality of the fact that Joe is not coming back is beginning to sink in. It has been a month now, a span of time widows and kids can count each day because it is never forgotten. I miss Joe terribly. I miss being able to tell him the little things that aren't important enough to call someone about but just thoughts to pass along to someone you live with. I missed telling him the things I saw on the dives in Bonaire. I miss rolling over in bed and finding it empty.

I went to my first grief support group at Wellness House today and met someone who attended something that Joe and I attended together in August. It was a good place to start to sort things out.

I will shortly close this website or rename it as it is no longer about Joe and his cancer . It will still be available to read but just won't be as active. Thank you all for being on this journey with us. Your cards and notes have been wonderful and Joe would be happy to know he touched so many lives. Some of you gave cash contributions to the family and I took these to our church in Bonaire who are trying to build a church. Joe was active in helping them while we were down there and actually started a small group down there which is still going strong. The other donations went to Joliet Hospice and our church, Community Christian Church which meets at Carillon where we live.

As I watched our new President get sworn in today, I thought of all the changes that have taken place in our lifetimes. I know all of you, my friends, will have to go through this in some way and I hope to be there to support you as you have supported me. Thanks you and God bless you. Mary Anne