Good Morning

It's Thursday morning and today I am heading back to Phoenix. It has been a wonderful three weeks with my family and especially with my Dad. It is difficult leaving not knowing if Dad will still be with us when I return for the wedding. In a lot of ways, I've already lost the Dad I knew my whole life... the jovial, life of the party, joke-telling, great conversationalist. But the Dad I've experienced in the last three weeks has been so beautiful. I am thinking of his face when he thought I was leaving and I told him I was staying through Thanksgiving. He lit up with such a genuine smile. The next thing he said was "and then what? You gonna update your resume?" Little did he know he was right. I lost my job later that week and will be looking for a new one when I get to Phoenix. Another precious memory was all of us standing around his bedside with him directing us as we sang Barbershop Tags. So fun to see a slice of old Dad back - picky about our timing and our dynamics. But it's all the little things too, feeding him coffee cake and having him thank me when I'm done. Trying really hard to understand what he's saying and having him thank me for being patient. I wouldn't trade these last three weeks for anything in the world. And while it is extrememly difficult to think that he probably won't be here when I come back, the knowledge that he will be waiting for me when I finally go home to Jesus is a beautiful hope. He gets more beautiful to me each day even as he loses weight.

About 6 weeks ago, when Dad learned he would be going on hospice and probably seeing Bonaire for the last time, he said he hated thinking about putting us through this. I told him that a long time ago through the death of a dear friend in Atlanta, I learned something about grief. Grief is not a tradegy. Grief has this bittersweetness to it that allows us to get in touch with the impact of a life on ours. Grief pulls us together in community with those who have also been touched. There is a sweetness in grief when our hope rests in eternity with Jesus. I am so grateful that around Dad these last three weeks I have really felt that. There has been so much peace in the midst of it all.

Since I will be leaving today, Mom will be by herself for the day. She's asked me to let you know that that is her preference as she really hasn't had much alone time with Dad. If she doesn't answer the phone, everything is probably fine, she'll just give you a call later.

Thank you to all of you who have been such an amazing support during this time. I don't think I've cooked one meal since I have gotten here because of all the meals people have brought. Please continue to pray for the peace of the Lord to surround Mom and Dad and for us to trust in the Lord's perfect timing of Dad's homecoming and my wedding.

Thanks,
Karen